Ok, here’s the deal

January 10, 2012

Last week I posted some crap about trying to write every day. And I have, I just haven’t written anything I wanted to post. This seems to be a common occurrence with me. The more I think about it, it’s probably not a disease but instead a symptom of something else.

With nearly every blog I’ve had, only 2 out of every 10 posts ever made it onto my blog. There really isn’t a single reason for it. Some days I just don’t feel like proof reading, or I just don’t think it sounds right, or it’s just a little too ranty, or I just don’t want to post it because… I just don’t. Quit hassling me!

I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that I’m still fairly insecure with my writing. I know I’m not great (that’s not self-deprecation, that’s just reality). My humor is dry and unbelievably dorky and the depth of my intelligence varies daily (however, I am apparently really good at the game “Smart Ass“, which is fitting). But, that’s me. I’m 30 now, I should probably embrace the shit out of it.

Maybe my perfectionist tendencies are getting in the way (of a lot of things, but that’s been an ongoing problem). Maybe once I’m legitimately comfortable with who/what/where I am everything will fall into place. Or I’ll just be one of those people who is never comfortable with who/what/where I am that I will always be evolving and moving and bouncing from one idea to the next never quite able to pick one focus in my life.

Maybe I’m just wired this way. I’ll never be an accountant, but some day I’ll probably be a physicist/author/fast food critic/marine biologist/video game tester/bus driver. Who knows.

Ok, I probably won’t ever be a physicist because I dislike math, but it’s hard to kill a dream.

One Response to “Ok, here’s the deal”

  1. ScottO Says:

    I’ve read that Einstein hated math. He hired a mathematician to work out the details. So physics, watch out for Candice! Or the good mass transit patrons of the Twin Cities. Either way, you’ll find something you love to do, and be very successful at it.

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